On: Writing The Hardest Thing You’ve Ever Written

What my first attempt at writing genre fiction taught me.

Work Done and Lessons Learnt

I gravitate towards stories that are not defined by genre.

The work I create almost always has a clear, literary bent that gives me the proper space to explore themes, characters, and relationships. Usually, my characters compel the plot forward rather than a certain time, place, or setting forcing them to react to it. There are always themes of healing, reclamation, overcoming trauma and a sad ending but hopeful epilogue. Among Sinners and A Waltz into Ruin are the shining theses to this formula. I was well adjusted to this niche, even sprouting the idea for two other works within it—Lost But Never Found and A Covenant of Blood. And, really, it was easy for me too. Modern beliefs and modern technologies allowed me the time and space to develop my skills in character development and the relationships that spurn it. So, naturally, you’d want to stick with something if it sees you actually finish what you start, right?

But, you’re never grow staying within your comfort zone.

And, A Hospital for Souls was created out of that exact desire for more.

This is not the first story I’ve written about Dante. The idea that saw me finish my first novel was a mafia centered plot. The second, was him overcoming grief, addiction, and trauma while playing hockey for his uncle; which, I self-published but took down after realizing it was, ultimately, not the path I wanted for my writing career. For a while, I almost felt ashamed of these characters. Because the racism I endured in sharing them almost made me quit writing entirely.

But, this time, I really do believe this version of their story will be the last I ever write.

And, it’s a scary, yet exhilarating, feeling finally completing something that has gone nearly ten years unfinished.

Writing within a genre was a new challenge for me. Instead of my characters defining the story, my plot bears an equal weight to them that took me months to find the proper balance between. Even the initial plotting of this book conjured many versions. One where Celena is the lead singer of a MySpcae rock band who recruits people to her revolutionary cause through the website. The other saw me return to my original plot of seeing Dante act as Xavier’s hitman. He was going to infiltrate the resistance where Lisanna was the leader, realize he was on the wrong side of history, and help her overthrow Xavier’s corrupt regime instead.

Really, coming up with the plot of A Hospital for Souls was a constant effort of skinning off of the parts I liked from the other, budding drafts. Then, I stitched them together to create a Frankenstein-like monster that no longer resembled anything separate of each other, but instead, now acted as a singular, cohesive unit.

An eyeball there.

Some intestines over here.

But, at the center, a beating heart that gave function to all the other pieces and made A Hospital for Souls truly come alive.

I never thought I would ever write genre fiction, but what are novels if not the disguised, personal opinions of the author propped up by its supporting characters and dressed up in a plot? I’m a man of many beliefs and even more ideas, and with my home becoming a technofascist state, I wanted to make my take on the upheaval happening around me very clear. I am by no means a scholar, revolutionary, or even a saint. But, I’m an artist at heart. I may not be able to fix everything in society that is broken and, in extension, actively harms us while we endure it. But, I can offer a perspective on what is and isn’t right, and sometimes, that’s the most influential act of them all.

The idea of A Hospital for Souls was born from the idea of class struggle, and how it shapes every period of recorded, human history. I wanted there to be a clear allegory between the castes that define our society today: the rich and the poor. I can’t exactly remember how I decided on incorporating the vampire element to reflect this; it just fit so perfectly with the other ideas I was working with, as vampires leech off of humanity for the sake of their own survival.

Next, as a child, I had created a story about demon hunters with sentient weapons. It was a stolen idea from Soul Eater, but what are a writer’s childhood stories without a healthy dose of audacious plagiarism? Now, in the present, I molded it to fit another idea I was already grappling with: a society dependent on AI. But, the AI is powered by the stolen consciousness of its human populace, who are kidnapped by the state, and their original bodies are housed in prisons run by the government.

Is it starting to sound familiar?

Adding into the class divide element with vampires, they could then harvest the blood of these same prisoners. Along with The Dragnet Games from the first, initial draft of A Covenant of Blood—that, ultimately, held no point in that story—I now had an actual plot on my hands. 

And the strangest of it all, was that none of this would’ve happened without a message from my subconscious. After waking up from a dream at 3 AM, I furiously summarized its entire plot in my notes app.

I went back to bed, thinking nothing of it. But the main idea of The Dragnet Games would not leave my mind, even while finishing A Waltz into Ruin and Among Sinners. I can’t remember the exact moment where I wove it into the plot of A Hospital for Souls, but after I did, I went back to my notes app where I had written the original idea down and found this.

All roads lead back to the heart.

And mine just happens to have been made in the image and likeness of Dante Alonso Hidalgo.

So, with an idea on my hands, I got to writing. The character heavy scenes and chapters came flowing out of me; I had almost forgotten how intimately I still knew Dante since I created him with my sister in 2016. Passion for this story was consuming my every waking moment. With Dante having his rightful place in the spotlight, I was having so much fun.

But, there was still another thing that needed my attention:

The plot, Adrian, the plot!

Which, I’ll admit, was entirely kicking my ass to develop into a believable and cohesive narrative. Of course, genre fiction comes with expected beats and tropes, but I’m not the kind of man to be forced into a label, category, or box.

Yes, it’s true A Hospital for Souls is a sci-fi, cyberpunk, dystopian novel. But, I’ll write it the way I want. With flawed, but believable, characters who compel the reader to change with them throughout the narrative. With queer characters making up the heart of the novel, who are not reduced to a stereotype and simply only exist to meet a quota. This project is the final act of healing from the past, and when I finish it, I will take the first step into the life I’ve been working towards for the past five years.

My journey towards success is just now beginning.

And, this time, I’m eager, confident, optimistic, but not delusional.

And that’s what will make my fifth attempt at querying my strongest yet.

So, add me to your prayers. Keep me in your thoughts. Sending over a good vibe or two won’t hurt either. Because with them, I’ll be ready for whatever the future has in store for me and my work, and this time, I’ll be putting my best foot forward.

And as always, I’ll see you all on the other side.